I heard someone say that fear is stronger than love. I did not understand this statement when I was younger. In all honesty, I was ignorant to its meaning until just a few years ago. During my healing journey, I discovered how much fear was leading my life. How I was not moving forward because of fear. What fear was it? Fear of failure? Fear of judgement? Fear of shame? Fear of letting others down? What did all of these fears get me? NOTHING.
You see, I was taught to be safe. I was taught to make the “right” decisions. I was taught to take the job that made good money. I was taught to work hard, no matter what the cost. I was taught to obey. I was taught that one day, it would all be worth it.
Well, I made it to age 40 and I call BULLSHIT!
Looking back on my life, I missed so much by following these rules. I missed my kids growing up in their younger years because I was busy working. So thankful daycare was able to help them grow (insert a huge eye roll hear). I missed out on true family vacations, the work computer went with me and I answered as was needed. I ran myself down into the ground more times than I can count.
And for what? For Safety? For Security?
These concepts are falsehoods that our society holds over our heads every single day. These are statements that are taught to us, all with good intentions, but driven by fear. Stepping outside of this norm, this way of thinking, this paradigm, call it what you want, is absolutely terrifying. But if you are already living in fear, what’s wrong with a little bit more?
The problem is, we do not realize that we are being guided by fear. As I mentioned early, the guidance that we receive as we grow up is made with the best intentions (I believe this is because to believe otherwise would make our society evil). However we have a choice on whether to continue to allow this way of thinking to guide our life or to step into who we were meant to be.
Trust me… To do this is terrifying. Everyday, as I go about my life, I battle the demons of what I was taught. If the bank account runs “too low”, if something cosmetically goes “wrong” with the house, if my new class at my business is not a “success” after the first class. I use “ “ to emphasize the programming that I am battling every day. Because think about it. What is too low? What truly defines wrong? What is truly a success? Each of these questions will be answered differently depending on the individual you ask. Depending on their upbringing and experiences.
So if society has taught us that there is a safe and secure way to live life, then why do we not answer these questions the same? It is because each of us is an individual. Each of us has been taught differently. Each of us has been taught to be safe and secure in various ways.
You want to know what else varies from individual to individual?
Our VALUE.
When I think of value I think about what an individual brings to the world. Their purpose…their TRUE purpose. I think of an individual with a tender heart who is able to see the true beauty of another and to help this person live their fullest potential. I think of the individual who has a knack for seeing problems and being able to communicate them with others and develop solutions.
In today’s society, we focus on many aspects of an individual…but we don’t often see their value. Now don’t get me wrong, there are individuals out there who do see the value in others, who do see the potential of others and foster an environment to help people grow. But I fear it is growing few and far between. For seeing a persons value requires us to take off the glasses that we wear every single day and truly see an individual for who they TRULY are. For seeing a person’s value requires listening to their words without filters.
Today’s world does not foster this environment. Today’s world teaches us to toe the line and not question. To keep others, as well as ourselves, safe. And what has it gotten us?
Look around.
I truly believe that we as a society are meant to do great things. And to do these great things, we must first connect to who we were meant to be. To put aside the idea of safety and security as the director of our lives. To learn and harness our full power as we step into a society that welcomes individuality.
To learn to live without fear.
To live without fear takes work…deep individual work to identify and rewire the programming that we have been taught. The timeframe for healing is unknown, but the rewards you receive along the way is great. For as you begin to see the world with new glasses, even a small change, you may receive so much more than what you could ever imagine.
